About Stephanie D. Barnes

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So far Stephanie D. Barnes has created 97 blog entries.

Is ShETHER a Queen Move or a Queen Bee Move?

Anyone who has access to social media since February 25, 2017 has heard or heard of Remy Ma’s Epic Dis Track ShETHER.  A lyrically brutal takedown of hip-hop rival, Nicki Minaj, ShETHER continues the tradition of MC battles and pays homage to another rap annihilation, Ether, the 2001 track released by Nas aimed at his rival, Jay Z. Even those who aren’t hip-hop fans are aware of this beef by now. As always, there are leadership lessons to be learned in the most unlikely of places.  ShETHER is ripe for many lessons regarding women in leadership!  As I have been [...]

What’s in a Name?  How We Put Ourselves in Leadership Boxes

At the end of October, I traveled to Wilmington, Delaware to present at the TEDx Women forum.  It was both exhilarating and terrifying.  I did not know whether or not I would be able to pull it off.  Although I have spoken many times before—and to audiences larger than the one in Wilmington—this was the first time that I had to speak entirely from memory!  Some days it is a challenge to remember why I walked into a room, let alone presenting a 15-minute speech from memory!  But I was able to recall and deliver my talk without incident. I [...]

By |November 8th, 2016|Diversity, Gender Bias, Leadership, Women in Leadership|

Words Reflect Behaviors—How Casual Discourse Perpetuates Gender Bias

This is not a political post, but I cannot remain silent about the now infamous recording of Donald Trump proudly admitting to sexual assault against women. I have been shocked to hear his words described as mere “mean things” and his own characterization of the conversation as harmless “locker room talk.” It reminded me of Brock Turner’s father’s characterization of rape as “20 minutes of action.” I have been further saddened to see other women dismiss his words describing his actions as acceptable because they disagree with Hillary Clinton’s politics. Disliking one person does not equate to absolution of another. Even [...]

Another Year of Fabulous! Another Year to Create the Extraordinary!

Go Stephanie!  It’s your birthday!  Party like it’s your birthday! Today is my birthday!  I am blessed to celebrate another year of fabulous.  2016 has been extraordinary in a spectacular way.  It was a great year of polarities.  I experienced great highs and great lows.  But even at the lowest point, this year was fabulous.  It was fabulous because I learned to embrace the power of the freedom of submission.       To say that I am a woman with a plan is an understatement.  For as far as I can remember, I have always had a plan for [...]

Stop Hitting the Snooze Button! Your Life Is Waiting for You to Get Up!

Alarm clocks have to be one of the greatest annoyances known to man! I HATE my alarm clock!  It is the bane of my existence.  Well, not really, but I do really hate it!  I LOVE my snooze button!  I am quite the talented snoozer.  I can snooze with my eyes closed.  Pun intended.  Seriously, I take snoozing to another level.  Sometimes, I don’t even remember hitting the snooze button 50 million times.  My snoozapaloozas have been known to last for 1 hour and twenty minutes.  That’s also the amount of time that my clock gets tired of snoozing and I [...]

You Can Teach an Old Dog New Tricks—Embracing Continuous Learning, Adaptive and Generative Learning

The popular saying, You Can’t Teach and Old Dog New Tricks” is often used as an excuse for staying stuck!!!  This popular saying is attributed to the philosophy that it is “impossible” to get people to change their habits or acquire new skills.  Puppies tend to be malleable, teachable and eager to learn.  Older dogs become less apt to be able to be trained. But we are not dogs.  We are highly functioning organisms equipped with the power of choice.  The octogenarian who refuses to switch from reading the morning newspaper for decades to the online edition is not incapable [...]

Lessons Learned from a Slow Computer

As a writer and coach, my computer is an extension of my brain.  I use it incessantly and I have created hundreds of documents—scripts, manuscripts, coaching records, powerpoints, handouts, articles, blogs, etc.—you get the picture.  In addition to creating 50 million documents, I also created images for my social media posts and marketing materials.  Needless to say, my computer is chock full of stuff and its storage is bulging.  Running a virtual coaching practice means that I am always on the internet!  At any given moment, there are at least 5 tabs open on my browser.  I open and send [...]

Are You a 5 Star Hotel with 1 Star Guests?

Earlier this year, I visited what used to be one of my favorite hotels.  It is a very elegant facility that always has spectacular floral arrangements.  Many people visit just to have the beautiful displays as a backdrop for photo shoots.  I have attended several charity and business events there over the years.  The restaurant makes an awesome Bloody Mary and delicious blueberry pancakes! It is a simply magnificent property!  This particular time I was there for an overnight business stay.  I arrived late after driving all day.  The hotel staff was courteous and helpful as always!  The floral arrangements [...]

Seven Truths about Mastery

  There are many myths about what it means to achieve mastery.  The biggest myth about mastery is that it means to achieve perfection.  NOT!   Those who have mastered their area of expertise are some of the biggest failures of all time.  But they are the biggest winners because they learn from their mistakes and they are not afraid to make them.  Perfectionism is a losing strategy.  You lose when you overthink, underestimate, and sell yourself short.  Perfectionism immobilize you!  While things may be optimal for success, things are never perfect!  Perfectionism is a cover for fear of failure and [...]

Free Yourself from Yourself! Get off the Sidelines and Create the Life You Deserve

You don't become fabulous by sitting on the sidelines and watching other fabulous women walk by. You become fabulous by doing what the fabulous do. You become fabulous by doing what you think you cannot and mastering it. Fabulous is not what you think you can do, but what you prove to yourself that you can do!  Fabulous by definition means extraordinary.  It is the power to change the ordinary into the extraordinary.  Being fabulous does not necessarily require extraordinary talent.  It does require extraordinary courage to try what most women won't and to keep going when most women stop. [...]